I vowed to myself that at some point in my writing career I will talk about it, because this subject turns me on. And so without further ado, I will give it to you now upfront and uncut without all the fluff –
Feminists forgot how to be feminine.
Here is how I came to that conclusion…
In college, I leaned on a strategy that landed me the attention from corporate America. I co-founded and ran an organization dedicated to women’s success, through which I saw the ins and outs of women’s access into “men’s world.” It promoted women’s power. Pretty feminist if you ask me.
But looking deep down inside, I learned that instead of dedicating themselves to women’s power, feminists are perverting it.
The other day I read something about the Jonas snowstorm in Washington DC, and how there was “something strangely different about Senate that day. Only women showed up!” The aura of the story didn’t aim to expose the normal in and out of a working person’s life. It felt staged to make men look like a**holes.
I nearly chocked to death, because that’s not smart. That’s stupid! What these women should have been doing was snuggling (if not more) the life out of their husbands and making a family snowstorm party instead of wining how much more hardworking they are. Not plowing through the snowstorm to prove how valuable they are to society. Because a real society that needs their love and affection, votes and appeals, is right in front of their noses, not across seven snows. But nevertheless, it made a great news story.
The truth is…
- Very few women stop to think and ask themselves why they choose to dedicate their life to such and such career.
- They never consider the fact that it could have been their immigrant father pushing them over the edge simply because he’s living his own dreams through his daughter, or because he always wanted a son.
- They never consider the fact that it could just be societal conditioning that demeans women a-la “What do you really do for a living?”
- They never consider the fact that they are scared to be broke or alone with five cats in the house at forty.
- They never consider that they wanted a career to distract them from real problems they refuse to face.
- They never consider that it might have been Beyonce who instilled in their heads that they are so independent, and quite frankly, run the world.
- They never consider the fact that without Jay-Z, Beyonce would be a nobody. Beyonce is smart. Be like Beyonce.
Nowadays women equate their success and power with money and corporate positions. I suppose in today’s world it’s very typical because money is used as a tool of measurement. But money is the term that primitive people think and play by. Any truly successful person will tell you that money isn’t everything. So, why do we make everything about money?
Last summer, I met a very wealthy woman, an immigrant with an insane life story, who made her fortunes from zero. Let’s call her Sandra. Sandra escaped a poor village and ran away from a misogynistic and abusive man whom she was forced to marry. She came to America and worked as a hairdresser. Fast forward a little bit, and Sandra grew to owning some serious real estate and a chain of beauty salons. Everyone was in awe of her.
She married a stay-at-home man who wanted to look after the house and the kids, while she went out and hunted for dinner. She was a lioness. And like a lioness, she threw herself onto men wherever she went (literally), even with zero alcohol in the system, begging for their attention. Sandra needed to get off the male energy, to let its force shape her, wash over her. She is still a woman. She wants to feel sexy, and pretty, and attractive. It doesn’t matter how much was instilled into her scared little head, what ideas forced her to believe that she is in this alone, and if she can’t depend on herself and herself alone, she will parish. Sandra, despite what many feminists would call “the head of the family,” “strong personality,” “business-minded,” was just a weak, desperate mess in my eyes.
I promised that I will never stoop down to the level of lying to myself that this is the life I want. I don’t care how much money this woman has. She isn’t happy. She divorced this third husband six months later.
I think at this point I will be confronted by questions from my readers. I want to clarify them.
- Isn’t it thanks to the women’s rights movement that women are now treated with more respect by their male counterparts? They can stand up to men?
No. No. And no. Has violence against women stopped just because we opened up more seats for women on governing boards of large corporations? Like I said before, our equality in today’s world is just a measurement. It doesn’t capture or dwell on the fact that women are human beings like men. It doesn’t have to, because that’s already a given.
Hundreds of thousands of women die every year from domestic abuse. Calling 911 can’t control family dynamics. Men and women are personally responsible for understanding how to deal with themselves and each other. And if that woman is running after an alcoholic who almost killed her, she missed a whole entire lifetime of opportunities to learn to love herself and be treated the same way by others. She had no self-respect and she became a victim.
Remember movies in which women were treated like delicate, untouchable flowers? How the men would stand under balconies singing songs to them and begging them to come out and give them a glimpse? How he would gently lead her to a dance, hold her from slipping? How he would look across the room at her like she was some kind of extra terrestrial? That’s real respect. What woman doesn’t want to be looked at the way Jack looked at Rose in Titanic? That’s what made it into one of the best movies in history. Don’t act like it isn’t true.
There were societies long before the discovery of America that leaned on women’s opinions and decisions in the most “male-driven” sectors. Without a woman’s input decisions weren’t made. We are pseudo-comparing our civilization to savage societies that treat women like property. That’s not something we should be doing.
In fact, in countries that don’t openly advertise themselves as feminist, so much more is being done for women and their family safety and health. Take Cape Town, South Africa for example. There are men in Russia who volunteer to carry a woman’s heavy suitcases because she can damage her reproductive organs lifting heavy things. That’s real damn respect.
A woman will not earn respect by waving their paychecks into her husband’s face, threatening to leave him if he doesn’t treat her right. That’s called chopping off your man’s balls. And that will NEVER, ever lead to her happiness. Try it and prove me wrong. But if she were smart, and played her position the whole time, understood her worth, took time to perfect and care about herself, she wouldn’t even be in this situation.
- So you’re saying that women should be stay-at-home wives and moms and basically not participate in the working world?
I don’t think women should do this OR that. Women should freely have choice to do whatever it is they want to do with their lives. The real problem is the fact that they don’t quite understand why they do what they do with their lives. They aren’t in touch with themselves. They left their real power dormant. They don’t even know what female power is. In their head, power equates with money and if they don’t have what society calls financial freedom, they consider themselves slaves.
They are drinking propaganda Kool-aid prepared by men in suits they never even heard of. And when they go through a laundry of men, and towards their late twenties or early thirties haven’t met anyone who wants them, they become really angry and bitter.
Instead of reading these signs that something needs attention, as opportunities to dig inside and learn about what makes her tick, what makes her the most valuable creature in this world, what makes men lose their heads and give her everything she deserves and wants in return for her innate passion, excitement, love and nourishment (what to her is actually so easy and effortless to give), instead of all of this, she prides herself and pats her own shoulders about how good of a strong independent woman she is, and how men are just stupid to not want her and don’t know her worth. Oh, *snaps fingers* aaaaand! She can make her own money! So screw all of you!
I know and I am sincerely confident that men quietly reading this article will nod their heads and say they’ve met plenty of these kinds. They will agree that a woman isn’t sexy because she can tell him what item is included in all financial statements. They will agree that a woman is sexy for her internal state, her confidence with her womanhood, her WISDOM, and ability to turn his head in ways he didn’t know was possible, to make him feel. Something incredible. They will agree that it’s sexy when she perfects each little part of herself, when she channels love to everything that needs TLC.
Women have no clue how much time this all takes. They probably spend the least amount of time on their appearance, their health, their beauty, their spirituality. They forgot to treat and develop themselves. And that’s how they forgot to love themselves. We know, that if one can’t love herself, she can’t love anyone else.
- What if I already have a job? Should I quit?
Last year, I read a book titled “Learning to Love” by Anatoly Nekrasov, truly a gem, that said if you are a woman, want to turn around your life and have a job that takes all of your precious time from caring about yourself…Use the proceeds of your job to care about yourself. Literally, make it a point of its existence. I don’t mean using your paycheck to drink your face off all weekend to cure your depression or to “belong”. Use the money to go to a spa, to get a procedure done, to join a gym of your dreams and actually go to it. Are you depressed? Hire a counselor, change your diet, and figure it out. Stop putting bandaids on it. It’s eating you alive. You walk like a tank? Take some catwalk classes and learn how to sway your hips. Stuff like that.
Once you start channeling your money into the right places, your life will change. Slowly. You can’t change this statue overnight. You’re made of bronze, realize it and get over it. You will need to melt off the wrong pieces in due time.
- What if I’m really passionate about something and I want to pursue it?
Good for you! If I would guess, maybe less than 10% of the whole world population actually loves what they do. Another reason why there are so few happy people. Your commitment to your passions is another way you can channel love to yourself. Everything else will find its course and fall into place. Keep doing what you’re doing – you’re already taking a road less traveled.
When all “feminists” and “feminist trend-riders” are sharpening their battle tools to fight me, or getting their eggs ready to throw at me, I want to take the opportunity and nudge them a little bit just one more time. I want to tell you, dear feminists, that you’re just women with screwed in, fake balls between your legs. Some of you wear balls that you chopped off from your dearest counterparts. You spend your day imitating how men behave in the boardroom and still copy their notes on salary negotiations. You have shown nothing of how powerful you are because to get to know your feminine power takes a lot of damn work. You’re lazy and full of excuses. We know – because it’s easier to copy than to invent your own; you’re not fooling anybody.