Eye on the Prize

21 Dec

photo(1)No matter how different, unique or special we want to be, we still feel a strong need to be accepted by the society. It really sucks to know that we actually care what others think, but it’s in our inherent nature. Since ages ago, humans lived in tightly-knit communities and deviating from the rules and ideals meant death. Well, the times have changed and we are creating new movements.

One of my favorite historical figures is Edward Bernays – father of the modern public relations. He is the reason why bacon and eggs are a popular breakfast dish and why women smoke cigarettes. The way he went about business in his time was truly extraordinary. And the premise of his strategies was very simple: people live by herd mentality, which can be easily manipulated by media outlets. Businesses have been expanded, taboos slashed, and money made based on this principle. It is mind-blowing. (See YouTube video here)

I’m sure like everyone else, I had some dreams in life that were shut down by others. It didn’t matter if those people were close to me or not – their disapproval resonated into my unease and self-doubt.  Now I know that probably it was their unease and self-doubt.

If I learned one thing in life it’s this: people who can’t do it will say that YOU can’t do it. Deeply, they are affected by their own weaknesses, and seeing you succeed would mean that they themselves are a failure. Perhaps their views and values on life are also explained by such behavior, but that’s none of your business.

Your business is your prize, your ultimate goal or pursuit. Your craft is the only thing that’s important.

The masses are wrong. Yes, I said it. Academically, this is known as “group think” – when individuals mold into one brain and differences in ideas tend to dissipate. This is when the cluster begins to adopt an identity, in some cases a completely delusional one. Note here that the only way to get to the road of progress is by breaking the mold of same thinking. This is done by “leaders,” who are deemed “crazy” by the masses. (ie “if you are not with us, you’re against us” kind of thing). Naturally, we reject what’s different because it’s unknown, uncertain, and may pose a threat. Hence, our biological defense mechanism kicks in. Remember that.

When you have unorthodox ideas, the chance of being rejected by the society is practically at maximum.

Evaluate whether you really mean “fuck what others think.” And when you’re ready to take the stand and follow through with your dreams, let the world see it.

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Confident in Your Suit

8 Dec

photo(1)It’s recruiting season: coffee overload, picking on nails, and insomnia in full effect. For those of you that don’t know – it is the time to meet with banks/corporations/top firms to secure an internship. Without an internship, you can stop dreaming about working in finance. Unless of course, you decide to get an MBA from a top school and enter as Associate.

During this crazy time period, a few things happen. Companies come for on-campus information sessions where they throw cute presentations and bring some employees to chat with students. They also organize cool events at headquarters for select candidates. Asides from that, it is also your responsibility as a student to follow-up with everyone that you meet and ask to grab a coffee. You hope to establish some sort of rapport with these people, so that they may recommend you to the human resources who are swimming in resumes.

Essentially, this sucks for you if you are shy, can’t stand people, have limited social skills, or think that you’re not “ready” or “smart enough.” I went through that.

Here’s what you do. Call your ego.

Every single time I go for a meeting or an event, a few minutes before I step into the coffee shop or building, I ask myself: what do I want others to think of me? I want them to see that I am: confident, intelligent, mature, interesting, prepared, and active listener. As soon as I go through this list, I become encouraged to impress the people I am meeting. This exercise also helps with self-awareness. Certainly, you don’t want to get out there with a “I don’t give a fuck” attitude. You haven’t made the cut yet.

Obviously, you shouldn’t be crossing lines, but fundamentally, the core of acing any meeting/event and interview is confidence. That comes from knowing your strong qualities and trusting yourself that you are great and are capable of doing the job. Recruiting season is THE time to remind yourself that you are the best candidate out there. Let your ego endorse that.

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What I learned from Chinatown

24 Nov

Throughout my 4 years in New York, I moved 9 times in search for a better and more convenient living arrangement. My stops stretched from Canarsie, Brooklyn all the way to Spanish Harlem. Somewhere, I ended up in between – in Manhattan’s very own Chinatown.

To say the least, it was a shock. Miniscule apartment space, dirt, fish and cigarette stench, commotion, tiny sidewalks infiltrated by slow-walking old folk pushing carts full of groceries – all of those things contributed to the early stages of my heart attack. But all jokes aside, I felt depressed.

Two years later, though, I am still sitting in my home in Chinatown. I may have not seen it then, but my depression and unhappiness did not stem directly from moving there. It was a mental response from the drastic change I was going through. The mere thought of being stranded in a tightly-knit community of old-school Chinese people who don’t speak any English was very intimidating. The discomfort was a result of feeling that I don’t belong. But I paid $400 for my room per month, and every time a voice in my head erupted to haggle the best option, I shunned it.

I can’t mix in with the Chinese people, as hard as I try. My best alternative was to attempt to understand them and their culture. What I didn’t realize was that during this process, I also began to learn.

My biggest and most important lesson was: practicality. The Chinese language on its own is not a weave of flowers and elaborate feelings. It is merely a combination of words that drive the point home. The way Chinese people behave is directly parallel to how they structure their language. When you go to the street vendor to buy bananas, you don’t stand around picking, thinking and talking. You point to the bananas and say only one thing: the weight you desire. The vendor gives you the purchase and takes your money. No one is going to ask how your day is let alone wait for you to say that it’s “good,” or if it’s bad, the grandmother stories they don’t want to hear in the first place.

Talking and expressing oneself is a popular sport in the West. My argument is that there is a place and time for such things. Mostly, though, it’s best to say the least in any situation, to protect yourself from exposing too much, or saying things that can be open to interpretation (ie. Recruiting season? Beware of stuff you tell HR or do in front of HR).

Practicality funnels into action. The less time you have to talk non-sense, the more time you have to do something. Chinese people do not snooze. Even old ladies, who cannot work, sell random things on the street to earn a living. They are hustlers, and they hustle hard. There is no feeling of entitlement, just hard work in the raw.

So, shut up and do it. The world doesn’t owe you anything.

I guess I did try to blend in (for Halloween). My first Chinatown home in 2010. Check out the good luck calendar!

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Are you tolerating BS?

16 Nov

Very often I think about how lucky I am to live in the USA. Just earlier this month, we elected our President fair and square within hours. Had I been living in Ukraine, where I am from originally, I would have probably found myself among hundreds of people in Kiev, protesting for a re-count of the votes. Perhaps some of you know, just recently, Victor Yanukovych, leader of Party of the Regions was re-elected as President by what was considered a false vote count. You may also know that he is an ex-criminal, who did time for rape years before his political takeover. Now, the Washington Post in a recent article argued that Ukraine is steering away from democracy, and leaning towards a dictatorship with Yanukovych’s leadership. Successful businesses are being shut down by the government, individuals with opposing views thrown into jail, suspicious journalists – eliminated.

I was raised in the rural Ukraine, where people have a relatively decent access to quality education. I remember that many times, I engaged in conversations with the older folk about politics, and listened to them lamenting about their dissatisfaction with the government. Attitudes in Ukraine can be broken down into a few versions: people who are at the top probably got there illegally. People at the top are evil. Politicians are liars, and have strategically risen at common folk’s expense. People must be self-less. People must share wealth. Income distribution is unfair, etc. The complicated part is that such attitudes are not necessarily false.

Now, you may wonder why I am bringing up this example. First, living under a tough political regime is called suppression. This is not exactly what we see in the United States. However, throughout our lives, we tolerate suppression in many different forms. My advice to the Ukrainian people is to trample the system if they are so unhappy with it. So why don’t they?

Here is the moral of the story: because it’s easier not to. It’s much easier to complain about the incompetent leadership. It’s easy to turn away from obstacles and close your eyes to the situation at hand. It is easy to conform to religion and arbitrary standards that were set forth by the masses. It is MUCH harder to gear up and fight. It is embarrassing to be a black sheep among white ones, with a different, revolutionary idea. Essentially, this skill requires CHANGE and getting out of your comfort zone, while remembering that there is always a risk of failure. The only time there is no risk, is when nothing happens. Unfortunately, our life does not stay frozen and wait for us to do something.

If you find yourself tolerating BS, ask yourself why you are doing so. Are you afraid of implementing change and pushing yourself out of the comfort zone to achieve success? How far are you going with your current state? How far do you want to go? Will you be like an average Ukrainian, waiting for enlightenment to descend? You may be waiting forever.

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This week’s low-calorie obsessions

8 Oct

So yesterday I googled low calorie foods and got 500 calorie meal ideas (?!!) and a list of vegetables. I felt the need to address the issue. Recently I’ve been quite obsessed with vegan foods, so outside of carrot sticks and celery, here are other amazing combos to check out.

This is the best jarred kimchi ever made! (I am not a big fan of kimchi, but this really blew me away). 60 calories per ENTIRE jar and only 10 per serving – can’t go wrong with that. They have various spicy levels too, how awesome!

60 calories per serving, with 6 servings per package. Goes great with a scrambled egg and pieces of broccoli for breakfast and tastes pretty much like meat. If you add some spices, you won’t tell the difference. Yum!

After hopelessly searching for low calorie links, I found Jesus. These babies are 50 calories each (compared to 150 minimum in a regular link, plus all the fat). I absolutely LOVE these with spicy mustard. Just like the meatless ground beef above, these really taste like meat. They are also gluten-free!

Yes, it’s been a dairy-free, gluten-free week, so this is a must in my fridge. 40 calories per cup and NO SUGAR!

My room mate taught me to mix 2 table spoons (60 calories) into a half of cup of almond milk (20 calories) as a snack for breakfast or after a long run. This is great stuff, especially if you are on a vegetarian cleanse and are not eating fish (get your Omega-3s on). You can also sprinkle chia seeds into food you are cooking, as it is completely tasteless!

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Making bad decisions

21 Sep

When asked about my strengths, I always say that I am a hard worker. Which is true. I have always kept going no matter what, and work became my escape over time. But recently, a thought sparked in my mind about the times I worked the hardest: when I was in debt. It could be the one you’re thinking about, but it doesn’t have to be that necessarily. The debt I am talking about is time.

Many times I made decisions in my life that I am not proud of. But since I always wanted to improve my life, I never gave up on myself. The problem was that I lost a lot of valuable time that I could have invested into something positive. Here we go again with finance references, but hey, so true. A dollar today is worth more than a dollar tomorrow – that is a fundamental rule in finance. Same thing applies to effort.

To get back on the debt aspect of it. Say you have $20 in your bank account and you make a $35 purchase without an overdraft protection. All of a sudden you are $15 below your limit. You become afraid that the bank will charge an insufficient funds fee, so you work an extra 2 hours to earn the money to make up the difference. Finally, you are at $1. But, if you had done your homework, checked your bank account before the purchase or simply never made it in the first place, you would be alright. As a matter of fact, you would be more than alright. You would have invested the 2 hours at your job to make an extra $16 deposit into your account.

You made a bad decision.

For all the bad decisions that you commit, you will spend time making up the difference, and working super hard without getting anywhere…just floating above water…just having enough to not get penalized. Now, magnify the situation and imagine what happens when you make many bad decisions.

Start with making good decisions more often – that is key.

Beauty…or Brains?

13 Sep

We can say it’s a different ball game for women these days – more opportunities, more upward movement, and more influential figures like Marissa Mayer. But having been raised in a conservative household, and being surrounded by women of traditional nature, I was confused about which path to take – the one I wanted, or the one I and others thought myself to be good at.

Many times throughout my networking experiences, I came across men who did not take me seriously. Although I am not a feminist, I do stand for women’s empowerment because I realize that there is a tremendous gap. I also realize that women have to be better just to be equal.

This past week I was honored to attend two gala events in New York. One was a work event, and the other – a benefit dinner for a fellowship in which I participate. While working at the conference event for my job, I was approached by an attractive woman who offered me an opportunity in her firm. She mentioned that her firm focuses on investor relations. After further research, I learned that she is a broadcasting producer and a “financial model.” Her role includes reporting market news and interviewing business professionals in a less-traditional Wall Street manner. Rather, suggestive. At the dinner celebration that same night, many business cards descended from older gentlemen, along with many more compliments and requests to dance.

The day after, I was hanging out in Washington Square Park. Two girls invited me to cast in a reality dating show. I wanted to be an actress when I first moved to New York, and probably would have fallen for the offer a few years back.

But here is the day that changed my life.

During the second event of the week, I spoke on behalf of my fellowship in a front of 700 successful people, who donated money to the cause. I talked about my journey thus far, and how a professional organization changed my life. After the event, countless of Congratulations floated around me. It was really surreal, and inspiring, and overwhelming. I felt like a 100% ME – a strong individual with a clear plan and hunger for success. And I wanted to push myself over the edge, and reach those goals that I never thought were possible.

I am sure that there are many women who can make themselves happy, or realize their own definition of success by taking it easy, and working in a stress-free environment or looking for a man to save them. But as for me, I learned that my natural high comes from accomplishments, influencing and making important decisions, solving difficult problems, and learning from my experiences. If my father’s idea of woman in the kitchen does not live up to a standard for me, then let me be an outlier. We all know that the bell-shaped curve is rarely flawless.

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